YAY! DRAWINGS!!! O.o wait...what the hell is that???

Hey there dudes and dudies,

Yes, it's time..time for me to off load some of my not-all-that-exact-but-rather-interesting drawings onto your squishy grey cells so they can disturb and torment you forever. It's not all of them (what do you think i am, obsessed???), but ya know, it's some of my 'best'. Hopefully i should be able to write a lil something under 'm...

or maybe i can write it beside. I'm not picky. Anywho, this is a sort of 'running character'...that's what i'm trying anyway. I've probably mentioned before that i'm not very good at drawing the same thing twice. With this character i'm hoping to get out of that rut. She's got baggy everything so i have 'room to move'(ie i don't have to worry so much about the jumper being too big) and her hair's messy so i don't have to worry too much about making her head too big :D Since she's a shy character i don't have to draw hands if i don't want to :)


This is just some random flower that popped out of my head one day (hehe, imagery). You probably can't see it so much but i'm rather proud of the shading. I'm not particularly good at shading yet so this was a pleasant surprise.

This one's sort of based off a story character i made...i think it's a few years back by now. Anyway, yes, that red is blood. I didn't really have any reference pictures...well i did but i'm not very good with reference and the effect that was going for is kinda impossible (the blood's supposed to be solid but till flowing, see what i mean) the puddle at her feet was particularly hard cos... *shrugs* don't know why, just was.

Just for a little side not i used water paints. It took me ages. I'm afraid to paint the rest of her coz the blood took so long

Something i drew when i was feeling kinda angsty. Don't ask me what the hell it is. Pretty sure it's a dragon pendent...or a shield...or something...

And this is my most recent...She's kinda small on here...damn it. But yeah, she's still a work in progress so you might see her again. At the moment she doesn't have any hands and her guitar isn't finished or even accurate but i like the pants and the shoes are pretty good (i'm usually really bad at shoes). I d'know...i just really like her ...S'pose it's coz she reminds me of a band member i know...for some reason.

So that's them for now. I feel like a puppy showing off her new toy! X) Sorry it's a bit long winded but it made me happy. I'm sure there'll be more to come but that's all for now. I'll probably have another rant about work next time but for now i'd rather stay in my happy state of sharing my squeaky chew toy ;)

Till next time, *squeak*

yours,

ristro

Naked people and english writing *shudder*

Hey there,
No, it's not some sort of porn that i found, it's just another rant about me choosing art education.
Naked sketching and wrting reports are two of the things that i 'fear' the most about furthering my education. I'm not really up for staring at naked people for hours on end because i don't feel right about it. Maybe i need to go to one of those mixed bath houses they have in Italy and Japan (i think that's where they are O.o). Even if it's a hot guy i'd have a problem with it. I think it's my up bringing and my frigidity (if that's even a word) as well, but that doesn't change that fact that it makes my uncomfortable. I know i should suck it up and just get on with it, adapt and what not, but i don't wanna. Bodies are pink and wobbly D:
Which brings us to writing reports. I CAN'T DO ENGLISH! I know i'm not THAT bad but after writing stories for - holy crap - 12 years or so and STILL being this bad with using grammar and spelling, i sort of dread having to hand in a report with little help along the way...I suppose i could always you the lechture's help but 1:there's no way of telling how accomidating they are. and 2: that means takeing innisiative and time management...i suck at those.
If i remember correctly, it's also EXCUSIATINGLY hard to find enough information on any old art work. And READING half that crap is like disiphering and anchient dead language. Some of it's alright, but most of it goes right over my head.
I'm sure there are more reasons but for now, that's it. HOPefully, writing this will help me overcome my...difficulty.
Oh, and another things is that i need a port folio in order to get into a close Uni but i DON'T HAVE A CLUE as to how EXTECNIVE they want it to be. I suppose i could ways go to collage...kowie o.o
yours,
Ristro
p.s. i need a proper drawing table etc
p.p.s. i need a digital art tablet thing.

Change is painful but funny

Hey there little chickens,
I've had a brain blast while i was sitting down reading this web comic. The point of this entry is the change in the comic. I've read a few online comics and manga but i've never really thought of the metaphorical importance of the change and evolution that the art goes though. The fact of the matter is that 9 times out of 10 the art work gets better than it was. True it takes a heck of a long time, most times years (T.T) but the fact is that they improve into something even more beautiful.
Can't the same be said about life and the choices we make. Most of the changes and adaptations in arty subjects are taken from the influence of others and ones surroundings. The same can be said with ones personality. It's like you can choose to imitate Salvidor Dali's painting or it can simply be something that affects you without conscious input; you can put a lot of time and effort into finding the perfect object to sketch or it can just pop out at you.
What am i trying to say here? How does this fit in with change being a good thing? I don't know... Maybe it's just that change is sometimes a subtle thing that creeps up on you without you knowing it, it can happen without any real effort or it can be a choice that we have to make.
There was another thing i wanted to write too...Meh, i can't remember. I'm sure there are more links i can make between life and the evolution of one's art but i can't be bothered right now.
Meybe later
yours,
Ristro

My brain is made of squidgy squidgy mush

Hey all,
You'll be happy to know that i'm feeling better since my last post. Much better! :D I'm always ganna have confidence issue but it just takes me a while to get into the swing of things. Comparing today's performance with the other days has taught me that.
Another reason why i was feeling bad that day, as i discreetly tittered on, was because i served a customer who...how can i put this lightly...I've been keeping an eye on him for a while, let's just put it that way, and i'm afraid to say i didn't make the best impression. I was already feeling quite bad so that just brought me to a stand still. But i'm better now. :)
Who is this mystery guy? I have no idea, but i'm not sure i like him as much as i'm letting on. What do i mean? Well...guys...to me guys can be more like animals in the wild, sort of. That's not exactly it but it comes pretty close. I'm not very good at talking to people at the best of times so i watch to see what kind of person they are. Talking to guys is especially hard coz i know i'll probably marry one one day but that just makes me curious about what they do. Then there's the fact that i know plenty of women but not many guys. I learn from watching people do things so i suppose it's me trying to learn about real men and getting myself prepared for...the one??? *shrugs* or at least the one that can be man enough to ask me out.
I have a feeling i'm ganna be a real bitch to my first boyfriend. i don't know why, i just have this terrible feeling that he's ganna get an over load of bent up frustration forced upon him. i feel sorry for him already :)
Nah, i'll try not to be that bad.
Anyway, that's it from me for tonight. holy crap it's 12.30 here. Definitely all from me
Nighty night.
yours,
Ristro

Warning! Pessimism abound

(prenote: if you wish, positives are half way down the page)
It's been a while strangers. I've been meaning to write for a while - and damn it feels good btw - but whenever i thought of something to write i'd think 'nahh, that's just too damn embarrassing' or 'WTF that doesn't make any sense, and not in the good way' or 'i can't be ares right now. it's 1 in the morning and i have work tomorrow'.
Brain: wow, you're using swear words :o
me: you got a problem with that, bucko?
brain: rrright...well, i'm going back to the Bahamas.
me: NOOOOO! BUT YOU'VE BEEN THERE ALL WEEKEND! I-I need you brain. I NEED YOU! T.T
Alas it has already boarded the plan and is half way there :'(
But yeah, it's true that my brain seems to've gone on holidays this week. I've been forgetting coffees like bananas(*shrugs* spur of the moment) and dropping things and getting in peoples way more than usual. I dropped the box of marshmallows on one of my co-workers today. I'm just lucky they're such nice people. My word it's annoying. I hate it when i get in these slumps.
Yes, i'm sure it's all in my head and that if i'm confident it won't happen as much because i won't be worried so much about everything EXCEPT what i'm doing. But it's how to get my confidence back that's the tricky bit. Yes, i know everyone goes through these things and i know everyone hates it but i just wanna bitch about it to make myself feel better. It's been a while since i've had a descent and honest to goodness bitch - faults, inconstancy and all. It feels good to say words for no apparent reason but to still have them have a feeling to them.
*sigh* Well, what else can i say?... I hate it when my brain's on vacation. It makes my mouth seem stupid and my ears seem deaf and that get's me frustrated at myself and others. I get in a foul mood and sometimes it brakes on to the customers. Don't get me wrong, it's not that bad i'm just not as nice as i'd like to be, but it's still disappointing.
Oh dear, should i write it? There's something terribly personal that this applies to but how to can i write it without embarrassing myself?....*sigh* Never mind. that'll have to wait for another day.
Which gets me onto another thing. When i'm in this state i notice the customer's negativity and confusion a lot more. Oh gosh! I'm so stupid! They're usually confused because my tongue's in a knot and then they get more confused and then it's just ah! And then we're both in a strange mood and i'm feeling worse. I just wanted to crawl into the fridge and hide.
Which gets me onto yet another point. I want to be good at my job but may brain keeps deciding without me that it's wants to jazz things up a bit, change what i say just a little, as them whether they'd like me to 'warm up they're meal' rather than 'put it in the microwave' or it wants to say 'goodbye and have a nice day' rather than 'have a lovely day and enjoy your meal'. Usually it's alright but when i'm in this mood my mouth rebels because i don;t know if i should say it that way or not, will they understand what i mean or give me a look or 'what the hell are you on?' or will i just be crossing the line???
Gah, i hate my head. why does it have to make things so damn complicated. Why do i have to make things harder for myself. I must secretly be a masochist. That would explain a few things. I'm tempted the write them down here but i won't. *Twitch twitch* maybe later when i'm not ranting and raving about work.

But it hasn't all been bad. these are a few of the good things:
I'll go ahead and get the good things over and done with first.
1 i've scanned most of my good drawings so i'll probably upload them sometime later.
2 i downloaded some program similar to 'photoshop' a while back and i completed one of my drawings with it the other day. It's not 5 star and i'd drawn and scanned it in prior to 'photoshoping' it, but i think it's pretty good.
3 BIG NEWS! My sister and i bought a cheep computer for general gaming a month or so ago and we've been playing sims 3 like crazy! Originally she wasn't that interested in it but when i showed her all the things you can do things changed. I feel kinda like i brought her over to the darkside. Oh, i took it off my laptop, btw. I'd rather have a all my music and photos than have a game that only runs at half speed and takes up all the space.
4My friends are awesome. :D Since we have such a large group it's hard to tell but when there are three or four of you just chilling and making fun of dvds it's easy as peaches. I'm glad that i met them. :)

And on that strawberry sweet note i bid you Ade. I'm feeling a lot better now. thanks for being my blog. If you managed to read through the whole of this you're a trooper and i apologise for my pointless drivel.
Well, until next time may your eyes stay healthy and your ears sharp.
Yours,
Ristro

Damn unimaginative crab!! RAAAWWWWR

I'm ganna get straight into this rant because i feel like it.
WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THIS SUPERNATURAL, VAMPIRE CRAP! I am talking, of course, about the books that are out lately. It's probably just me but i seem to notice a lot of vampire/ romp books lately and i don't like it. Where's the love for the werewolves or the banshees or the ghosts?! There seem to be a lot of ones based on demons as well and i can't help thinking:

'Why? There are thousands of other mythical creatures out there and you decided, like a sheep in the crowd, to write a story about vampires and demons! Do some research and go against the crowd! Introduce a new creature to the mainstream! COME ON, BE A MAN!'

Don't get me wrong, i don't mind a good fang-bang book myself, but if gets a little repetitive after a time. Actually, it's more than that. I think it's more that i want to hear about something new. I want to feel like the author is sharing some magnificent discovery with me by opening up a world of a whole new supernatural interest. Does that sentence make sense? Probably not to you but it does to me.
Maybe i'm just not looking in the right places but, damn, mainstream really puts on the vampire.

...Yeah, that's probably it. I'm just not looking in the right places. I don't really want to look too hard though. Libraries scare me (lol, to think i wanted to become a librarian) and standing there reading a book in a bookstore to see if it's any good is a little uncomfortable.

...*sigh* I want to be able to write half decent stories. Then i could read a werewolf story that i like.
Brain: *looking at suspiciously*
me: yes, i like werewolves, you got a problem with that?!
brain: they're not like what you think, you know. not the real ones.
me: so? i can give it my own personal flair, can't i? not like anyone else is ganna read my mind.
brain: i'll never forget how excited you where when you found out there was a werewolf in that book you're reading.
me: hush!! he's a shapeshifter, there's a differences.
brain: you still squeed your lungs out-
me: shut up!
brain: you're blushing. Admit it, you've got the hots for werewolves!

me: and thus concludes this blog. hope you enjoyed that embarrassing look into my life. I'm ganna regret this one day, i just know it.
Look forward to doing it again sometime.

yours,
Ristro

Bllllllaaahhhhh

I'm tired....
But i thought i'd better write something before i go to bed. It's been a long time since i last posted so i owe it to you really, my poor destitute page of digitalness. I suggest anyone with eyes doesn't read it. Chances are it'll be really pointless and boring.
But what should i write...all i can really think of writing about is that fact that i'm a total retard, really. And i mean that in the kindest of ways...most of the time...
Seriously, i get in everyone's way at work and i just generally do things without thinking...I'm also convinced that my brain has gotten dumber. I'm so bad at remembering names and just general facts that it makes my pride cry. Oh, woe is me who can't even spell or relate to anyone because i'm just too...um...I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF A WAY TO END THAT SENTENCE! OX
Lol! XD Yay for over dramatisation! It doesn't bother me that much but it can be a pain...especially when i'm talking to people. Since my brain is now essentially a pile of mush most the time i can't think of anything to talk about in conversations...nothing interesting or appropriate anyway. It's all smut or self absorbed drivel. I either let the awkward 'we should really make a conversation' moment slide or end up spurting out something that doesn't make any sense or can be taken the wrong way. *sigh* such is my life
...I'm sure i'm not the only one though. Gees, there are probably a million people out there who make worse conversations and get it to worse situations than i do but i just feel that i should be better than that...Once again, i suppose i'm not the only one...*shrugs* Getting it down somewhere just makes me feel less worried i suppose. If i tell someone about it, my subconscious is incline to take that as the go-ahead to get pity and slack off. However, if i write my ideas down it's me and only me at that time. I won't get pity from myself and that means i won't slack off. If i slack off i'll become arrogant and everything will blow up in my face. Also there's that well known phenomenon of 'exaggerating pain'. Sometimes if you tell someone something and they give you pity for it your brain thinks: 'well, this must really actually be a problem' and you'll feel even worse than when you told them and it'll just keep coming back. And no one likes that, no one likes making a big deal out of something that is essentially spilt milk...except when you're having a crap week or when there's a much larger problem but that's a whole nother ball game.

...*blink blink* How the hell did i get onto this?!!!?? It's like Dr. Phil but worse because i know even less about what i'm talking about than he does!!!!!!! *sigh* I bet you it doesn't even make sense. Either that or it's just commonsense.
Never mind. I'll put a warning sign at the top so people know to skip that if they want.
Brain: pfft, people. you make it sound as if anyone besides Zig reads these things.
me: i can dream
brain: and you thought you were going to write a short post.
me: And on that note, i'm ganna go to bed. My head hurts. We'll leave the rest of my rambling and theories for another night.

Sweet dreams, wonderlings.
yours,
Ristro