It's been a while...probably will be again

Yep, i'm not dead, believe it or not. Felt like writing something but, unfortunately, i can't be bothered getting off my arse and putting Word back on my computer. Long story. I think it's been probably 3 months since i've had Word? Yeeaaah, kinda sucks but i get by, one less thing to piss me off.
Not sure what's really happened since the last time i posted. Don't know if there would be any real point posting it if i did. I kinda of want to write a sort of diary thing but i don't really see any point if people are going to see it. There's some pretty depressing stuff rattling around in my head. Not sure if it's the heat, the three cups of tea i had yesterday, the wheat i've been eating or other factors <.< But it sure does suck.
I can tell you one thing though, it feels terrible.
I kinda feel like i've let a few people down too. One of my friends is having a movie night, my boyfriend is having a thing at this bar and another one of my friends is going out for the first time - all happening on the same weekend. Now the first friend (movie night) posted it on facebook. Some-fricken-way i thought it was on the 4th (friday) and the 5th(saturday) but it's not - it's on the saturday and sunday.
My boyfriend was planing on organizing the bar night on the friday but he changed it because i said i couldn't go. He changed it to Saturday. Now I won't be able to see him this week.
I also told my OTHER friend the wrong information so she might not end up going out on the friday because she thinks that the movie night is on the friday T.T
I also got called into work for Sunday. I said yes because i thought it was on the friday so not i can't even stay over at her house Saturday night!
Understandably, i feel a mess.
I'm also stressing because i'm doing 3 cosplays for supernova this year (don't ask) and i've hardly even started them. They're proving to be A LOT harder than i thought they would be. The first one is Hatori from Fruits Basket. I can't a grey, male vest and plain blue ties are pretty hard to come by. Most of the ties that shops sell these days are patterned for some retarded reason. Here i was thinking the hardest thing would be the wig.
The next cosplay is one of Crona from Soul Eater. I WAS going to be Liz from Death the kid's team but we couldn't find a Patty and my boyfriend took ages to decide/ give it any real thought. In the end i decided for him - if he wasn't even going to think about it then he wouldn't put in the rest of the effort, yeah? I had enough patience to wait a month or so till i gave up (part of me is screaming 'that's a whole month waaaassstttteed'). Having Liz without the rest of the team just sucks donkey butt so we need another character. One of the girl who was going to play Crona originally said she wanted to be bad so the leader of our group told me to do Crona and we'd get the other girl be a villain...I didn't know at the time that she's about as easy to get a hold of as one of those ells covered in mucus. That might be true but I have the feeling that our leader wasn't trying very hard to get a hold of her either. It was another two weeks before we got the okay for me to do Crona ('ahhh, another two weeks!!').
And then there's my Gumi Megapoid costume. I can't really blame anyone else for this one, i've just been bad with my time, planing, prioritizing of materials. I was doing alright in the first month - i got the material, i started on the headphones, i looked up the wig and petti coat that i would need off the internet, etc. But this is where things start to throw real hiccups. First i started to slack off because i thought getting stuff off ebay would be easy - get my dad to buy them when he's not busy, piece'o'cake, right? Wrong. My dad's pretty busy with work so i thought, 'i'll leave it till he's relaxed a bit'. That set me back a week or so. Then when i did sit down with him and looked at the stuff turns out my dad doesn't use pay pal...'Dad, cosplay isn't that popular in Australia. You can't find Gumi wigs here.' Lucky for me i was pretty quick in telling our leader about my dilemma. She kindly offered to buy it for me and for me to pay her back. Triumph? They didn't have that wig in stock. Well thanks... But they could get me another one with 5% discount. Well...ah, sure.
What was the next hiccup? oh yeah, I decided to look for the boots next. Baaaad idea. White boots are about as hard to find here as grey vests and blue ties - probably worse. I knew it would be hard to find the right kind of boots but i thought 'surely they'd have some SOME where'. I suspect that 'somewhere' is DFO but no one seems to have time to come with me and i have no idea how to get there. I've been wanting to go there since the beginning of December...I haven't been pushing the point because i doubt we'll find any, even there.
Hiccup 3. I need mum's help suiting my costume. i thought she knew how to do collars without a pattern, she thought the pattern i had had a collar...Communication breakdown doesn't cut it. Mum's also pretty busy and i don't like disturbing either of my parents before dinner. It probably took two months for me to finally realize that mum didn't know how to make a collar without a pattern. We'd taken out the vest pattern about three times before and had a pretty deep study of it and she never told me that she couldn't do it. If she would've told me that in the beginning i wouldn't've wasted so much time waiting... angry face.
But in both the cases with my parents i can't rest all the blame on them, same with my boyfriend. I really should've asked them sooner or more often about the things i wanted help with...But on the other hand, i have a lot on my plate with this and i would appreciate if they offered to help when they see i'm not getting motivated - chances are that i'm stuck on something but i'm just too frightened to ask for help - i don't like interrupting or inconveniencing people. Not only that but if i ask them for help about something i expect them to remember and ask me how it's going a few weeks later, that's what i would do.
I think those are the main hiccups that i've had so far. My Gumi isn't going to look anything like what i wanted it to T.T
Another thing that's been bothering me is the body shape part of a cosplay I know i should try a little harder to lose weight too but 1) no motivation 2) with the kind of exercising i've been doing, fluid has been swelling behind my kneecaps - i.e. it hurts when i exercise.
I went to the doctor today and he said it's a common problem and the only thing you can really do is stop staining my knees, take a anti inflammatory and work on your...quads? the muscle above you knee. I don't know what exercises i'm going to do now to actually help me lose weight! As far as i know you need to do both strength and cardio workouts to effectively lose weight. I haven't come across a lot of either that don't involve your knees - especially in cardio. So that sucks.
Leading up to all this i also went for an interview for a librarian trainee ship with the council. I was already a bit stressed out at this point but it doesn't help. I didn't get the trainee ship and i'm doubting my desire for that career path again (why can't i just make up my mind!!!???).
I must admit, though, I felt so much better when i found out i wasn't excepted. I have too many things on my pate right now to start thinking about a career. I have a feeling that God had a hand in that.
Well, I think that's all that's really been bothering me at the moment. There are some more things but, hey, they're for my knowledge only.
bye