AHHHHHH!!!!! DX *rant allert*

Well, i'm officially pissed and no amount of kind words can calm me down - not like my family use anyway. You wanna know why? I JUST DELETED ALL MY FUCKING STORIES OFF THE FUCKING 'SAFE' DISC AND NOW I'VE LOST FUCKING ALL OF THE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! DX It was an accident.
You don't know how much it hurts to have almost 10 years of sweat and frustration deleted in milli seconds without any way of getting them back. I feel like dieing...well, not really but it sucks worse than anything i've ever felt. YEARS WASTED!!! AND I'D FINISHED SOME OF THEM!!!!!!!! THEY WERE DONE! READY FOR EDITING! WHAT THE HELLLLLLL!?!?!!! I have some of the oldest ones backed up from when i had my old computer but they're no where as good as they were on the disc. I managed to save some of my favourites on my laptop to work on them more but that's no real consolation. I had two of my favourites on that disk and now i'll never get them back.
I guess i'll get over it eventually but it still stings. I suppose it's like i've lost part of my history when i lost those stories. A story travels with a person's life really, how they write changes with their moods and ideas can be affected by what happens in reality. Loosing the footprints from my life that were on those stories is the hardest part. It's a tie to the people i've been, the people who loved to write with a passion and who actually HAD a passion. There was a sense of hope with the younger me, of confidence but now that's gone.
I suppose it's also a case of 'what do i have to show for all those years now?!' as well. Sure, school's one thing but that's not as personal as my stories are. School work is a measure of academic or artistic or whatever achievements. If you're that kind of person, if your passion is taught in school, the it's a good measure. but writing stories was never like that for me so school's not a good measure for me.

Well, now i've had a good rant and i've got that out of my system i think i'll be fine. I'm thinking i'll start from scratch at remaking some of the better ones *sigh* that's ganna take a long time. I'll start some new ones to replace the fallen.
Mum said she'll ask at work about whether i can somehow get the lost files off my computer some how. Oh, yeah, i deleted them off my computer too. That was a smart move *face, desk*. I thought they were taking up too much space, and they sort of were.

I'll try to keep you up dated.

yours,
Ristro ):